I know a kid who thinks he's hip hop cause he buys it
I know a kid who thinks he's hip hop cause he never buys shit
Underground or mainstream
Some are bound to change schemes.

     -- Sage Francis, Underground For Dummies

So I'm listening to Sub.FM a lot lately -- I first saw it mentioned on Warren Ellis' twitter -- seeing as dubstep and its related spinoffs seem to be the in thing of late, and for once I actually like the genre. (There's also the more obviously-titled Dubstep.FM, but I'm not so keen on that one; DubTerrain is pretty neat though.) The quality of the stream's not brilliant, but in a conversation elsewhere there was some talk of audio enhancers. Normally I'm skeptical of these, but mikosquirrel pointed me in the direction of the DFX Audio Enhancer, which (on certain types of music at least) works really well; with dubstep, you can crank the bass to obscene, bone-shuddering levels, as it should be.

( In which I ramble a bit about music and other cultural stuff. )

Finally a couple of arty type things that I rather like: Multicolr Search Lab lets you pick up to 10 colours and use them to navigate a selection from "10 million of the most 'interesting' Creative Commons images on Flickr". It's a nice idea. Also, New Math is all kinds of awesome; reminds me a bit of one of my favourite artists, Jenny Holzer.

I try and avoid rambling about games too much (perhaps with limited success), but the new Alone in the Dark is, for me, a very pleasant surprise. I was expecting very little of it, having seen next to no coverage and feeling even more dubious when there were no reviews until a few days after release, yet it's quite possibly my favourite survival-horror game since Silent Hill 2 (which was nearly 7 years ago, improbably). I'm going to write a review of it when I finish it -- and I will finish it, unlike so many others -- but I'd certainly recommend it if you can put up with some control awkwardness (but since when has there been a survival-horror with a smooth control scheme?) and the occasional frustrating sequence.

With that out of the way, ( today was pretty good. )

The general point that I'm getting at with all this is twofold: first, as has been remarked upon by a few folks, it's finally starting to seem like the future, as promised to us in sci-fi and especially cyberpunk in the mid- to late-80's and early-90's, is here. This is as self-evident -- I mean, I just bought an entire computer that's smaller than the screen of the monitor on my desktop -- as it is fucking awesome. Which means that the future of the future will be even more awesome.

The other part of what I'm getting at is a little bit more difficult to explain. I'm still a fluctuating percentage of certain that I'm Buddhist, but even so, I don't think that withdrawing from all things of the world is either practical in the modern-day context, or even something that would particularly benefit people. That's why I've been interested in documentaries on the natural world and books on what I suppose comes under contemporary sociology.

I think this is technically Engaged Buddhism, though at present what I'm doing is more a process of learning than taking any action as of yet. I'd prefer to be in a position to make a well-informed decision that's somewhat planned, though, than to just go after whatever cause seems appropriate at the time. I tend to think more than act, anyway, though I'd like to be able to make some kind of change for the better, even if it's only something minor.

Tomorrow I have to go to the doctor's to get a new prescription; I can't just get a repeat this time, as I have to see the doc periodically to confirm the meds are still right. That being said, I can't get them changed any time soon, for various reasons, so it's all a little pointless.

On Saturday, as I said, I have my ticket booked to go and stay with my mum and stepdad for a while. I should be in Leeds for about 2 1/2 weeks, picking up the stuff I've ordered while I'm there and hopefully seeing a few friends. It'll be nice to see my folks again and find out how their trip to Amsterdam went, and I could do with a break anyhow.

I normally keep this kind of thing in Kynreeve, but it merits posting here (and possibly mirroring the relevant parts there later). I'd been worried for a while about this new travel pass scheme, as although it said bus travel would be free, it made no mention of the trams that are so vital to getting around here.

As it turns out, I had nothing to worry about; my pass arrived yesterday -- it comes into use on Tuesday -- and I can use it at any time on any bus or tram within South Yorkshire; between stations on the South Yorkshire rail network; to and from West Yorkshire on Northern Rail services; and into South Yorkshire by bus from neighbouring areas, along with free travel on local bus services anywhere in England between 0930 and 2300 weekdays, and all day weekends and bank holidays.

Clearly I had nothing to worry about. Another thing that was on my mind was the review of housing and council tax benefit in April; again, there was no reason to worry about this, as all my rent and council tax will still be covered by my benefits, fortunately.

( Elsewhere... )

Since getting back, I've just been resting up and playing games a bit; I finished the (surprisingly short) second disc -- of four -- of Lost Odyssey, breaking 10k gamerscore in the process.

I'd like to say I have nothing much planned, but Tuesday is town, Wednesday night is the Buddhist centre with kitsunefury, Thursday night is Hard Drive, and Friday is kyu_diary's day off, so we're probably doing something then too.

[edit: oh yeah, and one of these would be pretty damn cool too.]

I don't usually watch TV -- in fact, I've not had it hooked up at home in years -- but when I'm staying with my mum and stepdad, I usually watch a few things. This week there have been two programmes on BBC Four about Tibet: on Monday, Dan Cruickshank presented The Lost World of Tibet, with colour footage from the 1930's and 40's, before the Chinese occupation, which was really fascinating. There was quite a bit with the Dalai Lama as well, and I'm still hoping to see him in May. The programme was very interesting, and it showed a lot of tradition had been maintained up until that time; and, of course, it's always good to see His Holiness.

Earlier tonight, there was the start of a five-part series called A Year in Tibet; this covered the present-day life of Tibetans in a small town and nearby village. This was at the same time a little saddening -- how much things had degenerated since the Chinese occupation -- and a little hopeful; there are still monks and monasteries extant in Tibet, controlled as they are, and there are still people maintaining the old ways, though how much of that is genuine and how much is for tourists is another question entirely. I'd still like to go, sometime; and I think I preferred the programme that was on earlier in the week.

( At least there are books still available from Tibetan teachers. )

I've only three days left staying with my mum and stepdad -- it'll be a two-week stay in total -- but I think I'll be ready to return home. Tomorrow I have to go out and return a couple of games that didn't work at all, probably going on my own, and over the weekend we might go see a film or something; I wanted to have another weekend here so I could spend more time with my stepdad. Asides from the tangible things I've got whilst here, I've also discovered one piece of music I wrote at some point and written two more, and I think I've made some progress with meditation, so it'll be good to go home with all that in tow -- plus there's folks back home I miss seeing.

First of all, most folks are probably aware of it already, but there was an earthquake at 1am Wednesday morning. It was disconcerting and weird, but we're all okay; I'm not sure if everything will be alright back home -- some things were in rather precarious positions -- but hopefully there should be no major damage, if any at all.

( More on the last few days, with (largely unrelated) video and pictures. )

All in all, things have been going pretty well, though the time's passed quickly. I was originally thinking to go back home on Monday, but it's looking like I may stay longer; still, unless I end up staying something like another 2 or 3 weeks, not all of the books I ordered will arrive before I go back home. I'll just get my folks to forward them to me; it wasn't until I arranged to get them sent here that I realised one of them wouldn't be available for 10-12 days.

We're considering going to see a film -- either Be Kind Rewind or possibly Cloverfield -- in the next couple of days, though as Neil's not very well, I don't know if that'll happen or not. Likewise I don't know if I'll be seeing any of the friends that live locally, though there will be more opportunity if I stay longer, of course. I'm in no rush to go back, as I'm having an enjoyable break, but I need to go home sooner or later; I miss it already, a little.

Observation: Two Worlds is to Oblivion as Arx Fatalis is to Morrowind. Make of that what you will. Also, Spectromancer is currently free, and is pretty damn cool.

( Possibly more interesting but less brief stuff... )

On Monday, my mum and stepdad are coming to visit, and I'll be going back with them to stay for about a week. I've got some books and things I ordered waiting for me there, and it's always good to see them anyway. We're still thinking about going to Amsterdam sometime this year, which would be good. I also found out that even if I don't manage to make it to the Dalai Lama's talks at the end of May in Nottingham (I have the tickets, but the logistics of travel and accommodation may be a problem), there's a DVD set available of him giving a teaching on the same text in San Francisco in 2007, which is over 9 and a half hours long; so if I don't go, I can just get that, and if I do go, I might get it anyway to keep as reference, as I'm unlikely to be able to remember it all. I'm also looking to pick up Michael Palin's Himalaya series, after catching a couple of episodes of it last time I was at my mum's place; apparently, "all his travel books can be read at no charge, complete and unabridged, on his website". (Subject line generated by this, by the way.)

I've made some progress towards being able to play some US PS2 games I was after; several people have offered to help (abiku, mousit, premchai21), but I think the most promising thing I saw was this article on engadget (thanks hawx for pointing that one out) about some kind of memory card thing that'll unlock the PS2 to different regions -- meaning I'd only have to get the games on import, rather than the machine as well, and thus save a substantial amount of money. There's even a video about it, and apparently it's due to be released in about 2 weeks. I'll definitely be keeping an eye on it, and I'll buy one straight away if it proves to exist.

( More game-ish stuff )

Over the weekend, apart from going for a really excellent meal out on Saturday night, we've not been doing too much. There's been some good coverage of the Reading and Leeds festivals on TV, though, so we've watched a substantial amount of that; the quality of the acts has varied, with some putting on great performances and some not so good, and many of the bands I'd not heard before were pretty poor. Still, worth watching, or at least having on in the background; also along musical lines, a friend (I forget who) pointed me to this awesome turntable and violin duet, which reminded me of DJ Food a bit.

Although I've been enjoying my time here, I think staying until Wednesday will be enough. I feel de-stressed and I've got some of my energy back, and as if I'll be able to get more done when I get back home. I'll probably be looking into paying Toroka a visit, too, as it's been years since I last saw him and he's generously offered to pay for it all.

Yesterday was another good day. Despite waking up with a bit of a headache and feeling pretty tired -- I guess I must have been more worn out than I thought after only a few hours' sleep Friday night -- I got a call from kyu_diary, as we'd planned to do something, and it wasn't long before I was heading out to meet with him and imperial_wolf.

( It was a fairly simple wander around town, but enjoyable nonetheless. )

I've also got some pictures to show; these are by my close friend filterchild, but he gave me permission to host and display them. They can be found here, and are images of the local area around his new home in Venice, Los Angeles, CA. They're really beautiful, and they remind me of Amsterdam more than somewhat -- I've been pining to go back there, even though the holiday wasn't that long ago. There's a possibility that I'll be visiting filterchild (or vice versa) at some point, though I'm not sure how likely that'd be given the exorbitant cost of transatlantic travel.

By contrast, all I've done today is to make a couple of phone calls I'd been postponing for ages (one to the electricity company to sort out a refund for overpayment -- to the tune of several hundred pounds, which should probably go on other debts -- and switch to quarterly bills, the other to my social worker) and write this post, mainly due to the fact that I slept for ages; probably due to little sleep Friday night, and not resting during the day at all over the weekend.

*

Just as I was about to post this earlier, I got a message from a friend; apparently, due to torrential rain in the area and concomitant localised flooding, he was stranded here. He came over for a while, got himself and his clothes at least a bit drier, and with his help (well, he did most [if not all] of the work to be honest) we got the room into a much better state, for which I'm most grateful. I gave him a Yu-Gi-Oh game (which I bought a while ago but found incomprehensible) as some means of recompense.

Hopefully he'll get back home okay, and with a bit of luck the weather will improve soon, as I need to go out to town again tomorrow daytime, and possibly to the Buddhist centre in the evening; I'm waiting for a couple of things in the post too, namely my HolisticShop order, and a collection of the Hitman games (Silent Assassin, Contracts and Blood Money, for less than the price of the latter alone) for PS2. At the weekend, a bunch of folks are meeting up, so I hope things will be okay for that too.

Yesterday was a great day for me; it felt like a lot was new, or at least changed. Once I was ready to go out, I put on entirely new clothes that had never been worn before, and it was a sunny day to boot (though perhaps a little too bright at times). I went to town as usual, though I tried to be brief, and got some good deals on music and DVD's (and some holiday reading -- namely Chuck Palahniuk's new novel, Rant), as well as a couple of games for my neglected DS, which I suspect may be useful on holiday (when travelling at least, or if momentarily bored in a cafe or whatever) too. I'm really looking forward to it.

( Anyway... )

Today, it seems like a lot of time has gone by already, and I still have a reasonable amount of stuff to do. My dad's picking me up tomorrow to take me to my mum and stepdad's place, and then on Sunday we're flying out to Amsterdam for 10 days, including my birthday, staying here; I'll be at their place for a few days after we get back from 'Dam, too. I've also arranged to see shirosirius on Friday, which should be good; it's been a while since we spent any time together. That being said, I'm mainly just looking forward to having a break.

I slept surprisingly well last night, though it took me a long time to get to sleep; I was reading (mostly the book on angels that I bought recently) and listening to my mp3 player, but found myself somewhat too restless to easily fall asleep. Seeing a friend yesterday helped a bit, though.

I called the doctor and made an appointment for Friday afternoon; I'll be going back home on Thursday, which already feels too soon. It's my stepdad's day off tomorrow, but if time allows, I might be seeing friend(s) also.

Anyway, I ended up going out to the shops with my mum for a bit. There were some nice things in the clothes shop (that I can't remember the name of), so I got two plain t-shirts (both v-neck; one black, one taupe), a dark purple printed shirt and a black and grey striped hoodie thing (all of which probably look better than I can readily describe; photos eventually, maybe). Mum got a cardigan for herself and a Cobain-esque striped shirt for my stepdad Neil.

We stopped to get something to eat and then moved on. I got some tobacco-free Honeyrose cigarettes, as well as a guarana drink, some (delicious) Thai sweet chilli rice crackers, and some Japanese seaweed crackers for Neil, as I know he really likes them. I also noticed a range of homeopathic remedies while I was there (or in this case, 'biochemic tissue salts', whatever that's supposed to mean); I got one based on potassium phosphate (labelled as Kali. Phos.) which is meant to be good for nerves and stress in general, and I thought it couldn't hurt to try, especially as I've had good results from alternative types of treatment in the past.

Elsewhere, I picked up a couple of ambient/new age type CD's for use during meditation or whatever, both from Reflections Music -- I got one called 'Zen and the Art of Relaxation' and another simply named 'Tai Chi'. I also picked up some more stationery, as I'm intending to get back into making artwork by hand again, rather than with the computer or camera; I just got some basic things, like erasers, a metal pencil sharpener, and some fine-nib gel pens. It also occured to me that I'll have to find somewhere to host stuff, should I make anything good, but I'll deal with that when (and if) the time comes.

( Obligatory mention of games )

I think my stay here has done me good, though I'm starting to miss home a bit. I feel more balanced, if not at my most happy. My folks have been talking about their planned holiday to Amsterdam in a few weeks, and I'm looking forward to going there myself a bit later in the year, for my birthday. It's really the best place for me, and I've been thinking about moving there... thoughts for another time, perhaps.

In just a few hours, we're going to be headed to the airport, and then catch a plane to Amsterdam. I very much doubt I'll be online while I'm there -- barring maybe half an hour orso in a net café -- there's just too much other stuff I want to do. Besides, time online is becoming less and less of a priority for me of late anyway.

Before I left, I made a couple of posts to communities, for the first time in ages; I got a pretty good reception, and made quite a few new friends on here. I think it's just a case of developing the confidence to put things out more publically, and maybe to broach subjects I'd normally keep to myself -- but that line of thought is for another time.

The last few days I've been spending with my mother and stepfather have, on the whole, been going pretty well; I thought I'd write about them to pass some time, if nothing else.

Getting here on Monday was without incident, and there's only two things really worth noting: first, that I started watching a few episodes of season two of Lost that Neil had recorded, and second, that my mother gave me two really nice shirts: one is a long-sleeve collarless loose shirt in black, and the other is a purple embroidered Indian shirt. Both suit me well; the black one goes with the other five bazillion items of black clothing I own, and the purple one looks really good on me, in a sort of 90's alt.rock way.

On Tuesday, I went with Neil to pick up my benefit money and pay two weeks' worth of bills, as well as put about 75% of the money towards other debts -- I still have a fair bit left, though, as I had some saved already. We went for a quick look around, and I bought some really good ground coffee; it's Java Sumatra, very strong, with a sort of spicy aroma to it, and a rich, almost chocolatey taste. (Plus, the pack had a groovy photo on the front with some Buddha statues, which is always a bonus.) I've been out of the habit of drinking coffee for a while, but this stuff is damn fine.

I also managed to get a copy of Resident Evil DS, for about half the price I'd seen it anywhere else; I have just about all the others in the series. When we got back in, we had a bit of a Lost marathon, to bring us up-to-date for the two episodes they showed back-to-back on Tuesday night. Needless to say, I'm addicted again, and Neil's hooked too.

Yesterday, I made a decision about my appearance; I re-dyed my hair, and shaved my goatee completely off. I think, overall, I look better this way.

Other than that, though there's been a few things on my mind, there's nothing much else I want to talk about right here and now. I'm planning to see syrenwolf when I get back here, and shirosirius sometime soon after I get back home. There's also a plan for a big (well, fairly, depends how many people we can round up) night out on the Saturday after I get back.

When we get to the airport, I'm going to see if I can get Douglas Coupland's new novel, JPod -- I bought his last one, Eleanor Rigby, the first time I went to Amsterdam.

I have some packing to do, but there's plenty of time before the taxi arrives. We've got everything planned out a lot better this time, so we should be able to get more done; the place we're staying is more central, too, so that will certainly help. I'll be back here in a week, and home again the Monday after, if all goes well.

It's my birthday next Friday -- improbably, I'll be 25 -- and as I've hinted at previously, I'm going on holiday to celebrate it. This is where it may start to seem a little unusual: for one thing, I'm going to Amsterdam, which in itself isn't too out of the ordinary, but I'm not going for any of the reasons you might imagine. Also, I'm going with my mother and stepfather (believe me, that side of my family is very unconventional), and it was (at least in part) their idea.

I had such a great experience when I was there around this time last year that I couldn't think of anything I'd like more for my birthday than to go again. Essentially, my family is paying for it all -- transport, accommodation, food, spending money -- in lieu of any other gifts.

( A plan, you say? )

I doubt I'll be online at all -- at least, not during the holiday itself, I may well be able to get on from my mother's place if their PC isn't acting up -- but comments and emails will still, eventually, reach me; just no IM's and such.

I'll see you all when I get back in two weeks. Here's hoping for a great time.

I was checking to see if I had enough change to get to the Buddhist centre tonight with kyu_diary -- something I need to finalise plans for, actually -- and I found a Canadian 25¢ coin in amongst the other currency. I'd not seen this type of money before, having not yet been to Canada; there's a reindeer(?) on one side, and our Queen's head on the other, which I imagine is why it was mistaken for an English ten pence piece. I'm not sure why it pleases me to have this, but it does. Next week, I'll be carrying around a bunch of Euros.