Don't try to use what you learn from Buddhism to be a Buddhist; use it to be a better whatever-you-already-are.
-- The Dalai LamaWhen you know for yourselves These teachings are beneficial, these teachings are without fault, these teachings would be accepted by the wise, these teachings, when fully taken up, lead to well-being, to ease, you should live embracing those teachings.
-- The Buddha, Kesamutti SuttaWhile Param-Atman is never in doubt, the individual always lives in doubt. Because of this he is always wanting miracles to happen in order to establish his faith. But even if a miracle does happen and his faith is established once, that faith is shaken again and again by subsequent doubts, and he wants fresh and repeated miracles to re-establish it. He fails to realise that he is constantly living in the midst of the most wonderful miracle, the world itself.
-- Shantanand Saraswati, Good CompanyThough each washes equally as water, a well is not a pond, a pond is not a stream or a river, nor is a valley stream or a ditch a sea. As the Tathagata, the world's hero, is free in the Law, all the laws preached by him are also like this. Though preaching at the beginning, in the middle, and at the end all alike effectively wash off the delusions of living beings, the beginning is not the middle, and the middle is not the end. Preaching at the beginning, in the middle, and at the end are the same in expression but different from one another in meaning.
-- The Buddha, The Sutra of Innumerable MeaningsI do dimly perceive that whilst everything around me is ever changing and ever dying, there is underlying all that change a living power that is changeless, that holds all together, that creates, dissolves, and recreates. This informing power or spirit is God.
-- Mahatma Gandhi, Pathway to God
( Further musings. (Includes 2 SFW videos) )
To conclude, I'm barely much further in my thinking than I was before; I still consider myself a Buddhist, for whatever that's worth, although not everything makes sense to me at this point. I think ultimately that following the kind of practices that I do -- which, essentially, boil down to trying to be a good person -- can, at worst, do no harm; similarly, associating with others, be they Buddhist, Hindu, some other religion, or none, can (hopefully) only be of help to all parties. I hope by trying to explain these things to other people, whether that's by making posts like this, talking to people online or in person, or giving them books, that I do some good; I think more knowledge is always a good thing. In that spirit, I'd like to end with a few links which may be of interest both generally and for specific people. (My apologies to
- For
footpad, a number of Buddhist centres in Zurich; - For
gravecat, Diamond Way Buddhism and the FWBO Centre in Liverpool; - For
torque_tiger,
fubuki_, and
salith, although I've mentioned this many times, the FWBO Centre in Sheffield; - Some information on Buddhism for beginners (and sceptical Westerners);
- Introducing Buddhism: A Guide for Western Beginners, in the Zen tradition;
- And finally, a friend's insightful blog post on Religious Tolerance.
- Location:Muladhara
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:Psychic Ills - Meta

Nitai, ISKCON monk, giving a teaching from the Bhagavad-Gita
There are many Indian religious systems that involve strong devotion to the guru, and there are many adherents who totally dedicate their lives to spiritual practice. They are impressive. Mindful of the impermanence of this life, they put great effort into religious devotion. But only Buddhism sees the very apprehension of self to be faulty, and instead puts forth a view of selflessness.
-- His Holiness the XIVth Dalai Lama, Becoming Enlightened
( The Wednesday before last proved to be an interesting day. )
- Location:Jambudvipa
- Mood:
confused - Music:Susumu Yokota - Genshi
The Dalai Lama [...] states that one may practice the dharma by following the teachings and practices of non-Buddhist traditions such as Christianity, Islam, Judaism, or Hinduism. [...] In this sentiment he hearkens back to the historical Buddha, Śākyamuni. [...] As he was about to die, the Buddha was questioned by some of his students, who were concerned that after the master's death people might begin propounding doctrines that had not been spoken by the Buddha himself and that these people might tell others that their doctrines were the actual words of the Buddha. In reply, the Buddha told them, "Whatever is well-spoken is the word of the Buddha." In other words, if a particular teaching results in greater peace, compassion, and happiness, and if it leads to a lessening of negative emotions, then it can safely be adopted and practiced as dharma, no matter who originally propounded it.
-- John Powers, Introduction to Tibetan Buddhism
God creates our bodies, God bestows our nature. Inside and outside are both from God; how dare we derange them? We are within God, God is in our hearts; if we see the universe and emulate its purity, this is not different from the Great Way. If we have even a little selfish intent, we experience penalties that are not trivial.
The physical body is God-given nature; if you act in accord with God-given nature, you will spontaneously be free of the burden of human desires. Daily tasks are norms; act in obedience to the laws of God and there will be no mistaken excesses.
-- The Cultivation of Realization, trans. Thomas Cleary (in Taoist Meditation)
[T]he Hare Krishna mantra is not sectarian. Because we are chanting these three names -- Hare, Krishna and Rāma -- someone may think, "These are Hindu names. Why should we chant these Hindu names?" There are some sectarian people who may think like that. But Lord Caitanya says, "It doesn't matter. If you have some other bona fide name of God, you can chant that. But chant God's name." That is the instruction of this Krishna consciousness movement. So do not think that this movement is trying to convert you from Christian to Hindu. Remain a Christian, a Jew, a Muslim. It doesn't matter. But if you really want to perfect your life, then try to develop your dormant love for God. That is the perfection of life.
[...]
You may profess any religion, but to test whether your religion is perfect or whether you are perfect, you have to see whether you have developed your love for God. Now we are distributing our love among so many things. But when all this love is concentrated simply on God, that is the perfection of love.
-- A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, talk given at Northeastern University, Boston, Summer 1969 (as reproduced in The Journey of Self-Discovery)
( So I've been thinking. )
Addendum:
( This probably merits another lj-cut. )
- Location:sukhavati
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:The Gouranga Powered Band - Govinda
( I guess it starts with Friday night. )
Overall, it's been a very good weekend. Although at the moment I'm far from depressed, my stepdad sent me a link to a very good article by Clare Allan, on the Guardian site:
One of the very worst features of depression is the impossibility of communicating the reality you are in to anyone outside it.
I've taken out a paid membership for 3 months for my DeviantArt account, as well as having put a couple more pictures up there. Hopefully it'll be worthwhile; it's good karma if nothing else. Along similar lines, I wanted to give a regular small donation to Soma FM as I listen so often, but there's a bit of trouble with PayPal at the moment (it's set up with my mum's card, and we can't remember the password) so I've not been able to do that as of yet. I did a little more work on the computer though -- freed up a load of space by deleting crap I never use, and installed all the old Fallout games to have another play through.
Also, I've been meaning to update my profile, since they changed the layout, but I haven't found time for that yet. I'll make a note when it's changed; for now I should get something to eat and go to sleep.
- Location:Safewatch
- Mood:
content - Music:Funeral for a Friend - 10:45 Amsterdam Conversations (Live)
The second theme of my time away (as well as the creativity mentioned in my last post) was the media I acquired while I was there. I explored two main interests of mine, which carried throughout the different things.
( Two main themes )
Finally, but by no means least, I managed to pick up Fallout 3 at a very reasonable price while I was away, and I've been playing it a fair bit. "Oblivion with guns" has been a comparison that's been made, as it's by the same developer and shares some superficial similarities, but if anything it's "Morrowind with guns" -- those who have played both extensively will know the difference.
In fairness, both comparisons do a disservice to a game that stands up to its heritage but also has its own identity and style. It's a lot more of an intense experience than many other role-playing games, and I've not been able to play it for very long in one sitting because of that. And, with the 50's-meets-scifi stylings, it knocks BioShock into a cocked hat, which I thought was overhyped and overrated in the first place.
- Location:Safewatch
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:Bush - Body
( The next day went well. )
There's a couple of minor downsides though. I had a couple of great photo opportunities while I was out, but unfortunately the only camera I had with me was out of juice, and I didn't have enough batteries on me to replace them. I'm also a bit annoyed at myself for not getting DS puzzle game Professor Layton and the Curious Village (or at least asking them to hold onto it for me) when I saw a cheap preowned copy of it; by the time I phoned this morning, it'd already been sold. I also seem to have totally mislaid the rest of the huge pack of AAA batteries I bought, so there's no more power for my small camera or mp3 player until I have opportunity to get some more next week, or they turn up somehow.
I also managed to sleep forever today (well, was up earlyish, then somehow managed to nap from about 2:30 to 7:30) and my back's rather sore -- possibly as I've not gotten around to doing any yoga in a while, due to not feeling good. Hopefully I'll continue to feel better and get more done over the next few days; I'm really looking forward to the end of next week and visiting my folks again, as I could do with a bit of a break. For now though, sleep.
- Location:Safewatch
- Mood:
content - Music:Megumi Ida - Tsuki no Akari -Ending Version-
- Location:sukhavati
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:Burial - Exit Woundz
First up, I've put some of my new art online; after looking for a place to host images and music, as I already have a place for ordinary photographs. I returned to DeviantArt (as electricdog) after a six year absence -- my old account, straywulf, has some very old artwork, but I may repost some of that on the new one, which currently has 5 pieces not posted elsewhere, three of them brand new.
I also got an account on SheezyArt, which -- unlike DeviantArt -- accepts music as well as images, but there were issues with the site yesterday so I've not yet uploaded anything there.
Talking of music, I wish I'd seen this Penny Arcade strip before I named my 'band' -- Schrödinger's Wolfman would be an awesome name.
Finally on the subject I've added a few bits to my Miscellany gallery, all or less of which may be amusing.
( There is yet more. )
I've not been neglecting my spiritual side either. I managed to get Natural Radiance by Lama Surya Das, a book and CD set of teachings on Dzogchen, something which I've been wanting to practice ever since I heard about it. I've found the set to be incredibly useful and effective, and I'm not even halfway through yet. Also, I got an email telling me about the Foundation Course now available on the Free Buddhist Audio site; along with the downloadable talks, it's proving to be a valuable resource.
There's a little bit of a downside though. Despite getting all this creative stuff done and potential courses coming up, I've sacrificed a holiday to Amsterdam in order to study. And, although I'm getting a lot of enjoyment out of my games, books, and so on lately, and as much as I prefer to be solitary, I'm still getting pretty lonely. Hopefully that'll pass in time, and I'll have classes to keep me occupied.
- Location:Safewatch
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:harddrive.fm
That being said, I had a good time with my stepdad ( last Tuesday. )
There's a couple more things to add. Games-wise, and especially with the DS, I often play things for just a little while before deciding I want to keep or get rid of them, and with a lot of titles, especially RPG's, you can't make a judgement quickly. To this end, I've spent the last couple of days playing all the DS games I have here, and I'm pleased to find I've chosen well.
Next, although I've talked about books already, there's a couple more to mention. I decided to further my interest in wolves by getting a further two novels: Wolf Brother by Michelle Paver, the first in the Chronicles of Ancient Darkness series, and Promise of the Wolves by Dorothy Hearst, first of the Wolf Chronicles trilogy. I can't find any info about her or the book on Wikipedia, so I'm guessing it's a first novel -- it did, however, lead me to find rather interesting articles -- I suspect
Finally there are two technical issues. First, it seems that my phone is damaged or something, as in a few calls I've been unable to be heard. I haven't tested this extensively but it seems like I need a new one. Secondly, I see no point in renewing the domain name for my old site loopback:reconnect, having done nothing with it in about four years, so some really old links and images may be broken.
In a way, I'm looking forward to going back home. I want to escape the bad stuff that's happening right now -- though maybe that'll be gone tomorrow -- but I also have things waiting for me, and I can hopefully sort out something positive for my future.
- Mood:
determined - Music:Igneous Flame - Arca
With that out of the way, ( today was pretty good. )
The general point that I'm getting at with all this is twofold: first, as has been remarked upon by a few folks, it's finally starting to seem like the future, as promised to us in sci-fi and especially cyberpunk in the mid- to late-80's and early-90's, is here. This is as self-evident -- I mean, I just bought an entire computer that's smaller than the screen of the monitor on my desktop -- as it is fucking awesome. Which means that the future of the future will be even more awesome.
The other part of what I'm getting at is a little bit more difficult to explain. I'm still a fluctuating percentage of certain that I'm Buddhist, but even so, I don't think that withdrawing from all things of the world is either practical in the modern-day context, or even something that would particularly benefit people. That's why I've been interested in documentaries on the natural world and books on what I suppose comes under contemporary sociology.
I think this is technically Engaged Buddhism, though at present what I'm doing is more a process of learning than taking any action as of yet. I'd prefer to be in a position to make a well-informed decision that's somewhat planned, though, than to just go after whatever cause seems appropriate at the time. I tend to think more than act, anyway, though I'd like to be able to make some kind of change for the better, even if it's only something minor.
Tomorrow I have to go to the doctor's to get a new prescription; I can't just get a repeat this time, as I have to see the doc periodically to confirm the meds are still right. That being said, I can't get them changed any time soon, for various reasons, so it's all a little pointless.
On Saturday, as I said, I have my ticket booked to go and stay with my mum and stepdad for a while. I should be in Leeds for about 2 1/2 weeks, picking up the stuff I've ordered while I'm there and hopefully seeing a few friends. It'll be nice to see my folks again and find out how their trip to Amsterdam went, and I could do with a break anyhow.
- Location:Net Slum
- Mood:
quixotic - Music:LFO - Flu-shot [Wipeout Pure OST]
( This went well. )
On Friday, I'm going to stay in Leeds with my folks for a while. I'll be seeing Ed Byrne with my stepdad on the Monday, and I've made tentative arrangements to see friends during my stay, which will probably be for around two weeks.
I've invited a few of you good people to join iminta; I submitted some feedback, and got a personal email back from one of the people that work on the site, along with another ten invites, so if anyone's interested in checking the site out, just let me know. (I'm also wishing there was a gaming equivalent of GoodReads, but that's probably wishful thinking at present.)
The only bad thing, really, is that I've been suffering from toothache for a few days now, though fortunately it's easily controlled with painkillers. I don't have a dentist here, but may be able to see one while I'm with my folks. My sleep pattern's also been weird, but it's not like that's anything new...
- Location:deep space
- Mood:
recumbent - Music:Eels - Fresh Feeling
I've been reminded again to contribute to the wolf charities I support, and I'll be doing that probably by the end of the month as my finances are a bit more sorted out now; I should be getting a prepaid credit card soon too, which will make it easier to order stuff online without running up a lot of interest.
Also, I've been using a new browser, Flock, which is free and designed for use with social networking sites, and integrates with them pretty well. It's based on Firefox but fairly modified, and it's pretty easy to add in RSS feeds and suchlike. It's also reminded me to use my Picasa account again, though my webshots gallery is still getting quite a few views.
( More )
I wrote a new track a little while ago, but haven't posted it anywhere yet, so I figured I'd put it here.
- Schrödinger's Dog - Shades of Gray (125bpm, 2:41, 4.2mb)
Icy synths and jangly guitars combine with echoed beats and sweeping pads. Ambient electronica in a melancholy key.
I'm not entirely happy with the ending on this one, but other than that I think it's pretty good, and it's one step more towards completing Superluminal.
Pretty much the main thing that's helped me through difficult times lately has been the support of friends. I don't want to get overly sentimental and run down a list of everyone, but I wanted to mention
- Location:Net Slum
- Mood:
calm - Music:Does It Offend You, Yeah? - We Are Rockstars
( I was out of the house for about 10 hours. )
I went to bed almost straight away after getting home, and slept quite well. Today I've just been taking it easy, really; having a quiet time after two busy days. Right now I'm having a really relaxing evening; talking with friends, having a few beers, and listening to Hard Drive, a radio show (with podcast archive) presented by the ever-talented
- Location:ambient galaxy
- Mood:
happy - Music:Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip - Thou Shalt Always Kill
( In which I ramble about NIN for a bit, then move onto other topics. )
Back home, I got back into playing Lost Odyssey -- a thoroughly excellent RPG with the most depth to a main character I've seen since Planescape: Torment -- and beat the first disc (of four). Since then, I tried (and was pleased with) a couple of cheap PS2 games I got with the leftover credit I had from trading stuff in to get Lost Odyssey and Odin Sphere last Friday, then came on here to talk with friends and write this journal.
I've got things to look forward to as well. Tomorrow, I'm meeting
I'm really tired now, so I'm going to wind things down over maybe the next hour or so and go to bed. A day well spent, I think.
- Location:deep space
- Mood:
content - Music:Saul Williams - Break
( This made for a good evening. )
Back home, I talked with Russ for a while via Xbox Live, and it was good to hear from him. He was talking about how he might move if this job falls through (he works in the somewhat-volatile games industry), and was considering Manchester and Sheffield. He also suggested that I could do some volunteer work with a games company, an evening here and there or something, which sounds like it could be pretty cool; I'll talk to some folks (hi,
I also got a totally unexpected -- and very positive -- comment about my latest music via IM from
Another couple of quick things, just to finish: I've updated my profile again, and I've been enjoying We Love Puzzles (my username is the same as on here), where I've been solving some of the Perplex City cards I got whilst away and having fun with some of the other puzzles on there too.
I've also been considering getting a Tuxedo card, which is basically a pre-paid credit card (so I could buy stuff online without having to use someone else's), though I'm told some of these have rather exorbitant fees associated with them.
- Location:sukhavati
- Mood:
optimistic - Music:Bullet For My Valentine - Hearts Burst Into Fire
Earlier tonight, there was the start of a five-part series called A Year in Tibet; this covered the present-day life of Tibetans in a small town and nearby village. This was at the same time a little saddening -- how much things had degenerated since the Chinese occupation -- and a little hopeful; there are still monks and monasteries extant in Tibet, controlled as they are, and there are still people maintaining the old ways, though how much of that is genuine and how much is for tourists is another question entirely. I'd still like to go, sometime; and I think I preferred the programme that was on earlier in the week.
( At least there are books still available from Tibetan teachers. )
I've only three days left staying with my mum and stepdad -- it'll be a two-week stay in total -- but I think I'll be ready to return home. Tomorrow I have to go out and return a couple of games that didn't work at all, probably going on my own, and over the weekend we might go see a film or something; I wanted to have another weekend here so I could spend more time with my stepdad. Asides from the tangible things I've got whilst here, I've also discovered one piece of music I wrote at some point and written two more, and I think I've made some progress with meditation, so it'll be good to go home with all that in tow -- plus there's folks back home I miss seeing.
- Location:sukhavati
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:The Sopranos in the background
( Possibly more interesting but less brief stuff... )
On Monday, my mum and stepdad are coming to visit, and I'll be going back with them to stay for about a week. I've got some books and things I ordered waiting for me there, and it's always good to see them anyway. We're still thinking about going to Amsterdam sometime this year, which would be good. I also found out that even if I don't manage to make it to the Dalai Lama's talks at the end of May in Nottingham (I have the tickets, but the logistics of travel and accommodation may be a problem), there's a DVD set available of him giving a teaching on the same text in San Francisco in 2007, which is over 9 and a half hours long; so if I don't go, I can just get that, and if I do go, I might get it anyway to keep as reference, as I'm unlikely to be able to remember it all. I'm also looking to pick up Michael Palin's Himalaya series, after catching a couple of episodes of it last time I was at my mum's place; apparently, "all his travel books can be read at no charge, complete and unabridged, on his website". (Subject line generated by this, by the way.)
- Location:Safewatch
- Mood:
relaxed - Music:BBC3 - Being Human
Yesterday, a large part of the time was spent doing things on the computer; I'd wanted to go visit
Rusty certainly enjoyed being there, and for me, meditating for the first time in a while was beneficial; though, and I'm not trying to sound superior or anything, but I've really moved way beyond the basics. I talked to one of the teachers there about an experience I often have in meditation, and it seems likely that I may have developed a degree of samadhi or even reached one of the jhanas, which to me is self-evident proof that Buddhism is right for me and definitely works. It's worth mentioning also that the excellent Aro community has a very interesting (if concise) page about "Being gay, practicing Tantra"; well worth a read, as is much of the rest of the site.
Once the class was finished, we browsed the bookshop. There weren't any books that I wanted for once, and Rusty couldn't afford one, so we left fairly quickly, and caught a bus back into town that was running either a little late or very early. I didn't want to go straight home, so we went for a drink at the virtually-deserted Casbah before parting ways.
I've no real plans for the rest of the week, as I don't have a lot of money left, though I've got plenty to do at home. On Monday I'm seeing the doctor again, primarily to get more meds, but there's a couple of other things I need to bring up like how I've not been sleeping so well.
- Location:home
- Mood:
relaxed - Music:Armor For Sleep - All Warm
I was supposed to be telepresent at the Dream Machines workshop today, as I'd got hold of the right dates too late to physically attend, but due to oversleeping and other factors (didn't get to bed until late-ish, then couldn't get to sleep for ages, then was ill) I missed the opportunity. However, I've been invited to discuss some things via Second Life tomorrow morning, if I have the opportunity. Failing that, I've asked to be kept in the loop if anything similar happens in the future.
I've also been approved for half-price concessionary tickets to see H.H. the Dalai Lama giving teachings in Nottingham in May. The concession won't be processed until next Monday, which gives me time to look into travel and accomodation; still, to use an albeit-accurate cliché, it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I really hope I can make it, though it may come down to a choice between that and a trip to Amsterdam for my birthday.
The reason I was up late last night was due to finishing off a piece of music, the first of 2008. I'm very happy with it, so I figured I'd post it here along with other stuff, maybe repost it on its own later (or if I can find some good music communities on here):
- Schrödinger's Dog - Kyoto Midnight Garden (160bpm, 4:10, 6mb)
This started off as a few ideas while I was away from home, then later became a drum'n'bass track, and the final version (thanks Ishkur and Wiki) is pretty much neurofunk. Inspired by roughly equal parts Susumu Yokota and Ken Ishii, with a dash of Ghost in the Shell philosophy. Really pleased with this one.
Tomorrow, amongst other things, I need to pick up a few more techy bits; a bunch of audio interconnects, some more network cable so I can connect the PS2, 360 and PC at once without having to swap wires, a USB cable or two, and a USB hub, to let me connect more than two USB devices (currently keyboard and mouse) to the PS2. I could probably do with some more rechargeable batteries for my cameras as well, and possibly a microphone.
Other than that, I'm going to try and make it to the Buddhist centre in the evening if the weather isn't too hideous, and
- Location:Safewatch
- Mood:
peaceful - Music:Kylie Minogue - Time Will Pass You By
In order to develop an appreciation of your collection you have to start with one item. One has to find a stepping stone, a source of inspiration. Perhaps you would not have to go through the rest of the items in your collection if you studied just one piece of material. That one piece of material could be a sign-post you managed to confiscate in New York City, it could be as insignificant as that. But one must start with one thing, see its simplicity, the rugged quality of this piece of junk or this beautiful antique. If we could manage to start with just one thing, then that would be the equivalent of having one object in an empty room. I think it is a question of finding a stepping stone. Because we have so many posessions in our collection, a large part of the problem is that we do not know where to begin. One has to allow one's instinct to determine which will be the first thing to pick up.
-- Chögyam Trungpa, Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism
- Location:sukhavati
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:Low - Starfire


